These are my days...

No snow here.

Just sunny warm days 

filled with good surf,

and winter tide-pools

 for exploring,

 

searching,

 then showing to mom.

.

When the rest of this big world has thawed, 

and all are basking in the summery sun,

this family will be in the foggy fog.

The Ranch

Let me take you for a walk.

It is the Espinosa family ranch near Calistoga.

 

I did some growing up on this unchanging land.

Everything is just as I remember as a child.

Everything in it's same place.

 

With guitar in hand,

and my pet goat at my side,

I spent many hours wandering here as a young girl.

Today is a rainy, somber, yet beautiful day,

for both grandparents have passed.

Mama and Papa are gone,

 

leaving their love behind.

For this dirt, and all that has life therein, is how they loved.

 

The ranch is a peaceful, beautiful place.

My sister and her son have lived there.

They have always lived on this land,

always known Papa's love.

This was where our Papa could often be found,

colorful words flying at his attempts to keep machinery working.

The scent of tractor grease is gone,

but in our memories, will remain still longer.

This is the field that grew rocks.

Seriously. 

We never understood how.

They just kept popping up out of the ground.

Year after year.

My cousins tell stories of hot summers spent picking up rocks.

The wood pile remains.

Tools lie untouched.

Papa's work worn hands searched this jar for the perfect bolt,

so many years ago.

Tools that toiled the land for years line the shed wall,

A phone hangs quiet and unused.

This is the table were we gathered for dinners.

Papa taught me to drink beer at a very young age,

and eat the world's sweetest red onions that only he could grow.

He would remind me where 'my spot' on the ranch was, 

just by the pond in back,

for these grandparents often talked of this place being for their family.

For generations to come.

Here is where Papa hung his hat.

My sister's little red straw hat hung next to his.

Both hats are gone now.

This is where the young took a bath.

It was a sad day when one was 'too old'.

 I love this world.

It stands still in time.

It is beautiful.

But it never belonged to me. 

My heart was called away to a distant place with My Love.

But I am thankful for my Sister and her Son and their Loves 

who carry on the vision

and keep the beauty.

Sunday's Graces

Some of our family still at home met up with our family far away. Well, it's not too far, I suppose. But far enough away that we can't go for a walk at a whim, or drop off cookies, pie, or left-over soup, or get a cup of coffee at Verve, or venture to the Bargain Barn on a Saturday morning....

We met Our Girl's Love at the Zoo. How does one take cool pictures at the zoo? I was rather unsuccessful! It is not exactly beautiful, although it was fun to go anyways. My two youngest hadn't been, so this was it. The big trip to the SF Zoo. These are the most interesting of pictures I could get, and as usual, I find my family and their relationships with each other the more beautiful thing to be captured.

Here Brothers are looking at the graceful giraffes (my favorite) and crazy-striped zebras, but I find their taking in the sight together most beautiful.

This is the only one that would do this for me:

Then we met up with Our Girl at a park for a picnic lunch

good wine

and good conversation.

Then we got an ice cream at Bi-Rite Creamery

(I was too busy eating to snap a picture)

 then walked

and walked

and walked some more...

I always walk behind

snapping picures

and savoring the sites

of my Dear Ones

enjoying each other,

talking and laughing.

The site

of my daughter looking at her daddy

while holding her Love's hand

is priceless.

Then we return to their own grown-up, artistically decorated  homey home

before we head to our house far away,

 filled with memories of growing up,

memories of all my Dear Ones once young.

Sunday's Graces -

A continual numbering of things I am thankful for

to remind me of God's graces in my life

fifty. i am thankful that we live in big beautiful world with sooo many animals that I will never see. it reminds me how small and finite i am and how great and beautiful our created earth is.


fifty-one. brothers. some have known each other from birth. some are new. i am thankful that they have all of  life ahead to grow in their relationships. for we are complex creatures. it takes a long time to really know one another, then we change and continue to grow and therefore must necessarily grow in our understanding of who we all are, and how we can best encourage one another.


fifty-two. a father and daughter who share a love for each other.


fifty-three. a father who can be a great dad not having had much good dad-ness in his own childhood. some say that can ruin parent/child relationships. it has not. if anything it has made him appreciate his own relationships with his children in maybe an even stronger way. he is a good dad.


fifty-four. that i can be a pretty good mom without having much good mom-ness in my life. when my girl was born, i remember being overcome with emotion that God would give me a daughter. that He had confidence that i could have a good relationship with my daughter, without having had that experience myself. grace indeed. i have been imperfect. i continue to be imperfect, just in new ways. but God has made something impossible possible. a healthy treasured relationship with my girl. for that i am thankful.


fifty-five. the biggest dissappointment in my own life has been the many miscarriages we have had, and that we don't have a few more sets of  feet pitter-pattering around our home. i wrestle with it greatly. it doesn't go away. yet i am thankful for God's hand in the building of our family and trust in his purposes. i am sooo grateful for each and every day i do have with my four (plus one, so far) children. if you are reading this, i love you dearly. you are my delight. i am thankful you are here.

A perfect day

I am tired.

It's late.

The house is quiet.

I'm just now resting. 

I have a nice hot cup of coco cupped in my hands.

Not plain, but with a smallish scoop of ice cream

and Peppermint Schnapps.

I was out of the preferred Baileys.

I think about my day and I am satisfied.

Up early for a city venture to help my Girl.

I clean. She unpacks. We talk.

We walk about the city

and see it's beauty.

Back at the lonely, nearly vacant abode,

I help. I love.

It is no longer home.

Upon returning to my own abode,

I clean. I comfort. I help. I drive.

I rearranged Oldest son's room.

It finally feels homey.

I fold laundry. Arrange some flowers on my table.

Cozy up on the couch.

Listen to the stories of the missed day.

Goodnight kisses & prayers.

Yes. I am tired. But it is a good tired.

Tired from loving.

Tired from serving.

Tired from being a mom.

I am happy.

It is simple, but it is just what I do and I love it.

It was a perfect day.

Here are some of today's pictures.

Pictures of the beautiful new world of my Girl and her Love.

I love this picture...except for the King Kong of all dust bunnies:

A beautiful stack of thrifted vintage fabrics - is that not a piece of art?

Just sitting there, not sewn into anything at all. 

Next time:

twenty-three. the simple fulfillment of being a mom.
twenty-four. a new city with its many and beautiful places to explore.
twenty-five. an apartment I can drive to in a city I said I would never drive to. I'm a country girl. But now I'm going to have to be a country girl that drives to the city.