When I hear the word "romance", I don't think of what you might expect. I don't think about any of the lovely and thoughtful gifts my husband has given me over the years. I don't think of the flowers or candy although I do like flowers and candy. I don't think about the movies we saw or the food we ate on our infrequent date nights...we often prefer taking the kids with us anyways. (Infact, we took them all to Hawaii with us on our 25th anniversary). I don't think of how he proposed...Goodness! It seems we hardly even knew each other back then. I don't think of how nice he looks...although I do like how he looks! These are nice things that I am thankful for, indeed, but it's not true romance to me.
Rather, what comes to my mind when I hear the word "romance" is the love that was shown in the deeper moments of our life together. Romance is in my husband's adoring eyes when he holds me while in labor with our children, wishing he could ease my pain, then holding the new babes in our arms together. Romance is in my husband's tear-filled eyes when our world crumbles with the loss of our dear child through a miscarriage...and then another...and another. I can still remember the song he played on the piano after our first, even though the song is lost in time. Grieving together is romantical. Romance is in watching my husband work hard providing for the family in desperate times when Failure is chasing hard after him like a safari lion after a gazelle - which, by the way, is not really the time for him to be buying me the perfect gift or trying to plan a romantic getaway! (He would probably say it's romantical to have a wife that doesn't demand such things at such times inorder to feel loved.) Romance is going through dry spells and knowing we will be there with each other when it comes to a welcomed end. Romance is being rather ugly to my spouse and instead of getting what I justly deserve he gives a loving response that poignantly reflects Christ's love of the unloveable. Romance is knowing I am married to a man who takes leading his family in the Lord seriously, no matter what comes our way. And I mean seriously. He teaches them, talks politics, theology and worldviews with them, prays for them, encourages them and loves spending time with them. Watching my husband of 27 years walk his daughter down the grassy aisle to her love, then handing him tissue for his tears when she is surprised by song from the groom? What could be more romantic? These are the things that endear me to my husband. They will last beyond my years here on earth. I will love him forever. And I will forever know that he has loved me. That is romance.
Your post made me cry, too. Thanks a lot, Tina. Really! Thanks! Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this. You have been blessed and continue to bless so many by your honesty and sharing the journey you are on.
ReplyDeleteTina...wow. BTW, I love the photo. I have never seen early photos before. You two look fantastic.
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